So, the main thought going through my head over the last couple of weeks as I’ve tried to listen to The Beatles (hereafter referred to as The White Album because I prefer that title), is “why oh why didn’t I go with Revolver instead? If I’d gone with Revolver I would have had ‘Eleanor Rigby’. I would have had ‘Got to Get you into My Life’. I would have had quite literally anything other than a seemingly endless double album with several tracks that routinely turn up on ‘Worst Beatles Songs of All Time’ lists. And yes, I’m looking at you ‘Revolution 9’. And ‘Wild Honey Pie’. …And ‘Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da’, you childish, uncomplicated mess you.
Going into this I felt kind of positive. ‘I know the Beatles’ I thought. ‘I may not have listened to all their albums (thus not invalidating the totally arbitrary rules of this blog) but I must have listened to Rubber Soul and Abbey Road thousands of times. And that Number 1 compilation CD that was all the rage when I was about 13. I’ve heard that loads. I know the Beatles’. Fun fact: The White Album has absolutely nothing to do with any of those things. To my modern ears it is the largely forgotten blight among the Beatles’ long and storied career. The only song I knew going in was ‘Ob-La Di, Ob-La-Da’ (see above for a quick glimpse into what I think of that one) and that is only because it was in the Beatles for Recorder book I played obsessively as a child.
Okay, so it’s not quite as bad as I am making it seem. There are in fact a few songs I liked on this album (some I even think are quite good) and there are actually only a few that make me actively dive for the skip button. But man what a few they are. The White Album is the ninth studio album released by the Beatles and while it technically doesn’t contain any number one singles of it’s own, it did still sit in the Number 1 spot for 22 weeks after it’s release in November of 1968,. So, not exactly a failure then. Upon release, the album was citicised for being too satirical and apolitical for the political climate of the late 60’s, but unfortunately my knowledge of the political climate of that era basically boils down to “there was a Cold War”. This means I’ve probably missed a lot of the satire beyond the song ‘Piggies’ being a solid condemnation of greed and capitalism in the modern age, and therefore won’t be talking about that very much. Oh, and several songs were also used by Charles Manson as a “catchy hook” to try and start a race war before he went and committed all those murders. This is a terrible thing and also something I’m not really going to address beyond saying it just gives me another reason to dislike the song ‘Helter Skelter’ (as if the discordant guitars and tuneless wailing didn’t provide enough reason to begin with).
My main problem with this album isn’t even the songs I hated – although, ‘Revolution 9’ is definitely 8 minutes and 22 seconds of tedious noise that I will never get back and ‘Wild Honey Pie’ is close to a minute of complete nonsense I never need to hear again. No, my main problem is that a lot of the songs are just… meh. I don’t dislike them, but nor do I think I will ever go out and listen to them again after this month is over. I mean, what can one say about ‘Why Don’t We Do It it the Road?’ beyond “that sounds like a very uncomfortable idea.” I mean, sure, the back beat is kind of funky, but the song goes absolutely nowhere. The same holds true for ‘The Continuing Story of Bungalow Bill’ and ‘Birthday’. A lot of it all just feels very mediocre, which is possibly the truth. Many of the songs that don’t work for me are all passion projects from individual Beatles that the rest of the band were just not involved in. In fact, only 16 of the 30 tracks have every one of the Fab Four listed as part of the personnel. Of course among those 16 tracks are ‘Helter Skelter’, and ‘Everyone’s Got Something to Hide Except for Me and My Monkey’ so it’s not like all four Beatles working together was an instant recipe for success either.
However, my two favourite tracks on The White Album are also on that list of 16 tracks (they also come distressingly early in the track listing, so that’s nice). ‘While My Guitar Gently Weeps‘ and ‘Happiness Is A Warm Gun‘ both managed to draw me in through judicious use of the minor key. Also, after a string of disappointing tracks, they both sound more grown-up and mature to me in comparison. ‘While My Guitar Gently Weeps’ has a strong melody that draws me through the song, allowing me to ignore some of the more questionable lyrics. ‘Happiness Is A Warm Gun’ also starts of with a strong melody before switching it up several times throughout the course of its run time, and while this had the potential to be jarring, I enjoyed the way the short song kept surprising me.
There are other songs I enjoyed while listening to this album. ‘I’m So Tired’ was pretty good, and even the droning ‘Julia’ has been kind of fun. However, I think the main emotion that has followed me through listening to The White Album is disappointment. I am disappointed by the tediousness of many of the tracks, and by the self indulgent nonsense found in others (and yes, I am still looking at you, ‘Revolution 9’). I’m also a little bit disappointed in myself for assuming that just because the Beatles were the unstoppable super-group of the century that their albums would be good just… because. Well, guess I’ve learnt that lesson. All in all, I don’t think I’ll revisit The White Album all that much. A few tracks might sneak into my playlists here and there, but I can’t say I’ll be all that sad if they don’t. I can’t really recommend it to anyone either without adding the caveat that if they do listen to it, there are at least 15 minutes of their life they will never get back. So as long as y’all are okay with that then by all means, go wild.
Thanks for reading, I hope y’all have enjoyed it. If you have any differing thoughts, please do comment and let me know. I’ve said this before, but I don’t have a huge amount of music experience, so I’m well aware mine is not the definitive opinion.
I’ve just made the draw for what my next Album Review will be and it seems that in March I am going to have to join the rest of the planet and finally listen to an Ed Sheeran album. Wish me luck.
Review Thirty-Six 
I remember cramming into a listening booth in Southampton’s W H Smith to listen to this when it first came out. I was not overly impressed.
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